Critisizm of Starkit's Phrophecy!
by The harsh critic
Summary: I DO NOT OWN THIS STORY (Nor do I want too)
1. Chapter 1

**_I do not own this story! I am just being wierd  
_**

 **ThunderClan**

 **Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt**

 **Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes (No! I actually kinda like this cat! Don't include him in this fail!)**

 **Medicine Cat: JayFeather-gray tom**

 **Warriors:**

 **Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes**

 **Apprentice, Foxpaw**

 **Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom**

 **Sandstorm - pale ginger she-ca**

 **Cloudtail - long-haired white tom**

 **Apprentice DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace**

 **Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom**

 **Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes**

 **Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom**

 **Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches**

 **Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes**

 **Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes**

 **Apprentice, Icepaw**

 **Birchfall - light brown tabby tom**

 **Graystripe - long-haired gray tom**

 **Berrynose - cream-colored tom**

 **Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat**

 **Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom**

 **Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat**

 **Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat**

 **Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat**

 **Lionblaze - golden tabby tom**

 **Hollyleaf - black she-cat**

 **FoxHeart-reddish tabby tom**

 **IceFire-white she cat**

 **ToadRibbit-black—and-white tom**

 **RoseFlame-dark cream she cat**

 **BriarStorm-dark brown she cat**

 **BumbleFlower-very pale gray tom with black stipes**

 **BlossomWind-pale brown she cat iwth a dark stripe along her spine**

 **Apprentices:**

 **Fox DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace**

 **FlamePaw-firecolored she cat with one grnee eye one blue eye**

 **LakePaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes**

 **The last 2 r starKits siters**

 **JazzPaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail**

 **Queens: (Queen of the HOUSE)**

 **Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits**

 **Dawnsparkle-bright tortishell she cat with garguntan blue eye's mother of Jayfeathers' ktis, formaly of Shadowclan**

 **Kits:**

 **StarKit-graysh-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forhaed**

 **Elders:**

 **Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight**

 **Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat**

 **Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bight yellow eyes (hes Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawn- did0**

 **LeafPool-brown tabby she cat**

 **ShadowClan**

 **Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws**

 **Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat**

 **Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom**

 **Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom)**

 **Warriors:**

 **Oakfur - small brown tom**

 **Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom)**

 **Rowanclaw - ginger tom**

 **Smokefoot - black tom**

 **Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom)**

 **Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat**

 **Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)**

 **Toadfoot - dark brown tom**

 **Crowfrost - black-and-white tom**

 **Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)**

 **Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles**

 **Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back**

 **Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)**

 **Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail**

 **Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)**

 **Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye**

 **Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)**

 **Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes**

 **Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's**

 **Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's and amber eys**

 **DawnFeather-cream tabby she cat (shes a different cant then the one in tC ok?)**

 **OlivePaw-bright brown she cat**

 **Queens:**

 **Snowbird - pure white she-cat**

 **Elders:**

 **Cedarheart - dark gray tom**

 **Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat**

 **WindClan**

 **Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom**

 **Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat**

 **Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom**

 **Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)**

 **Warriors:**

 **Tornear - tabby tom**

 **Crowfeather - dark gray tom**

 **Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom**

 **Whitetail - small white she-cat**

 **Nightcloud - black she-cat**

 **Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes**

 **Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws**

 **Harespring - brown-and-white tom**

 **Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes**

 **Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)**

 **Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat**

 **Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)**

 **Willowclaw - gray she-cat**

 **Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)**

 **Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear**

 **Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws**

 **Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)**

 **Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes**

 **Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes**

 **Elders:**

 **Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen**

 **Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom**

 **RiverClan**

 **Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat**

 **Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes**

 **Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat**

 **Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)**

 **Warriors:**

 **Blackclaw - smoky-black tom**

 **Voletooth - small brown tabby tom**

 **Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)**

 **Reedwhisker - black tom**

 **Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes**

 **Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)**

 **Beechfur - light brown tom**

 **Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom**

 **Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)**

 **Graymist - pale gray tabby**

 **Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat**

 **Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat**

 **Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom**

 **Mintfur - light gray tabby tom**

 **Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)**

 **Otterheart - dark brown she-cat**

 **Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom)**

 **Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat**

 **Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)**

 **Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom**

 **Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat**

 **Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat)**

 **Queens:**

 **Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit**

 **Elders:**

 **Heavystep - thickset tabby tom**

 **Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat**

 **Stonestream - gray tom**

 _ **This is just the allegiances I know I haven't updated Darkstar's Life in awhile but hopefully you will read this!**_


	2. Chpater oen prouloge

I DO NOT OWN THIS STORY NOR DO I WANT TOO!

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. **(OMG a pool of water!)** A dark shape appeared on the surface. **(CREEPER!)** A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright. **(So bright...)**

"There is a prophecy!" She said. "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." **(That sounds medieval!)**

"Its about StarKit!" A white tom said. "Shes going to save the forest," **(Ok if we stop and think about this for a minute, why are we resting all our hopes on a KIT?)** He looked at a gold tom by BlueStar. "she has powers nobody dreamed of." **(I dreamed about them! It was a nightmare!)** Said the gold tom. "Should we tell JayFeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said BlueStar. "he needs to know."

She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy.

did u like it? plz tell me in urm review! **(Yes! Write an urm review!)**

 **Hope you enjoyed this, it was a lot of fun to read! LOLOLOL (Not!)**


	3. Chapter to the rose of a Heroin

**That's wassup, I DO NOT OWN THIS STORY NOR DO I WANT TOO**

 **ok jazzie-kun pleas dont get mad at me cause your not in it yet. You'l apear soon dont worry. (I don't wanna be in it, I would worry)  
**

StarKit wock **(Wock Wock! Alarm Clock!)** up and sunlit was in the branches. She closed her eyes againstill tired. Butter mom wouldn't let her sleep not today. **(Butter moms are the worst!)**

"Sweety its time to get up" said Dawnsparkle; her eys shinning. "Today is important today." **(I'll get up if you give me candy)**

"What is it Mom" said StarKit awake right away. Then the she cat rememembered what today was.

"Ohmigosh **(Since when do cats say 'ohmigosh'?)** its my serimony today!' she squelled excercisedly. **(Gotta exercise while you squell! Ya know what I'm saying!)** Today was the day she was an apprentice!

She flicked **(was that a glitch? In real life? That's what I would call a: LIFE GLITCH! Sorry bad joke moving on)** outside not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom cot **(CAMPING TIME!)** up to her quick.

"Sweety you know the clans don't except cat slike use sometimes." **(Do you even cat talk Butter Mom?)** She said.

StarKit glared. She didn't lake beig told that. Just because her Mom was a usedto be Shadowclan cat and her dad was jayFeather the medicine Cat didn"t mean she ws different! **(Um ya it does, hate to break it too you but, yeah it does."**

"StarPaw come here." Said FireStar from the leg. **(HE HAS A MOUTH ON HIS LEG! THIS IS ARMAGEDDON!)** He jumped down.

"StarKit it s tome for you to become an apentice: he said. "Your a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor with you."

Ever body **(please tell me they gasped through their MOUTHS not their actual bodys)** gasped. StarKit did too. Se herd hear mother say "Wow!". **(Butter mom is impressed!)**

Firehert liked her shoulder. **(Why? Just... Just why? I mean she has a really nice shoulder but...)** He whispered in her ear "youll be the best their ever was StarPaw I know ti." **(Say that out loud it sounds like "I note")**

Surpised she walked away when they were done howling for her. **(Why)** Then she went ofer to JayFeathern and DawnSparkle who were very prod. **(They prodded her contentiously)**

"Daughetr where very happy but he have to say something said Jayfeather his chest puffed ouit. "You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." **(C'mon Holly is pretty! I like to put it on my garlands. How can it be evil?)**

StarPaw gasped. What does it mean?

lol I update fast dont i. REVEIW or ill hit over the head with a frying pan! **(That sounds simultaneously Violent and awesome!)** XDD jk **(I wasn't)**

 **WASSUP PEOPLES! I love doing this so much.**


	4. Chapter three the Battle 4 the caln

thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review! and stop flmaing the stroy!1 i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1 **(Yeah I could, any story is better than this one)**

StarPaw walkd over too the appentice's den. Insid she saw her sister's FlamePaw and lakePaw and hr frend JazzPaw **(Since when do cats know about Jazz music?)** (a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!) waz slepping on the mos.

"JazzPaw get up." She cried. JazzPaw opend her brlliaint blu **(lol that spelling though)** eyes and looked at hr.

"Do yo want 2 go on pattrol wit me?" **(No)** she asked.

"Sure!" Said JazzPaw getten up from the moss. They leavt **(What the heck)** and went two the entrnse too camp.

But then, a cat came in thru the entrnce! It was BlackStar!1!11 **(Oh no! ONE cat from Shadowclan is her! Maybe he just wants to talk to Firestar! Let's raise all the red flags!)**

"Shadowclan are attaking!" **(It's just Blackstar you idiot!)** She yelled. All the cats came out from there dens. **(FALSE ALARM!)** She jumped on a cat and clawd him and he ran of. **(Huh, ow)**

"Good job StarPaw!" FireStar called, "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. **(SandSTROM? Really? How to you misspell Storm!)** Your a good fihter!"

 **Sorry about the last chapter that I uploaded by accident that said wiggle wiggle, when I write a new chapter I have to upload a text document with words in it in order to finish writing it on and, well I put the words "Wiggle Wiggle" in that document, and I did finish this beforehand, I just forgot to hit "save" before I uploaded it to the story #Failure Sorry!**


	5. Chapter Three The Traning Under The Star

**Hey! A new chapter is out! I DO NOT OWN THIS STORY (Nor do I want to)**

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Star  
OMGOSH GUkys im so sorry but SOMEONE glares at rainy days FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. **(Oh no! Did you fall off your bike?)** OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know. **(But it's so bad that it's funny!)**

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Stars

Shadowclan run from the camp. **(Blackstar is not all of Shadowclan you idiot!)** StarPaw smiled. Shed one! Noone cod **(that's right! No cod could hurt her family now!)** hurt her family now .

StarPaw!" said FireStar. "Its time we train!" I want to show you how to fight!"

"Ok." Sad StarPaw happl;y. **(is she sad or happy?)** "but yo just saw I culd fight, write?" "Well, ya." said FireStar. "But I wnted tol see if that was all you new." **(It was, she dumb)**

"Ok." They went to the frost togather **(Jack Frost? Or just frost?)** and the other cats cleaned jp the bodies. **(What bodies! Since when did this story take such a morbid turn?)** "Ok StarPaw" said Firestar one they got their. "We'll start with how to dog." **(Really? How to DOG? Can I learn to do that?)**

"Cmon thas too easy!" yelled StarPaw. Shed just beat **(Can I have some beats? They are my favorite! NOT)** BlackStar she was ready for anything! **(Naw Blackstar was wimpy, a dog could easily eat her)**

"ok Ok" mewled FiresTar, lets learn how to claw an oponit. **(and this is somehow harder than learning how to dog?)**

"Ya." Yowled Starkit. She jumped at FireStar not Giving hiM time to attakc. "She hit his side he didn't move he was to surprise.d she clawed him and he started bledding. **(Bledding? That's worse than bleeding!)** "wow StarPaw" he said ".Your doing awesome." "Really?" gaped StarPaw. She didn't think she was doing that god **(If she is god then we are all in trouble)** was she relly special like the porphesy meowed? **(The prophecy meowed? No one ever said the prophecy was a cat!)**

"Yes StarPaw." Snarled Firestar. **(u mad bruh?)** "I couldnteven get away in fast enough. Only scourg was did that before.,"

"OMGOSH REALLY?" **(I'm done.)** asked StarPaw. Scourg?1? THE SCOURG? She dherad so muchj about him he was really evil and killed alot of cats. **(dun dun DUN!)** "I'M LIKE SCOURG? "I didnt mean it like that" FirePaw sad fastly. "I ment you wer a good fighter. Its really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaws so kawaii look at her eys and her fur. **(What just happened.)**

"Oh ok thanks." They trained floor **(floors need to train too!)** awhile later StarPaw beat FireStar 8 times once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired.

"Hey FireStar can we hunt now." Said StarPaw. "im kinda hungry." **(oh my god, a whole sentence with no spelling errors!)**

"Oh we'll if you want." Firestar was disappointed he and; starPaw had been having so much fun. So they went huntng, StarPaw messed up a couple times **(ok so she can defeat Blackstar without bieng hurt, killed, or abducted but she can't kill a mouse?)** but FireStar said it was okaysince it was only her second time (she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and FireStar had snuck out together **(I ship it!)** that's why he chose her as his apprentice_.

Later that night StarPaw locked **(off to jail with you!)** up at the stars. She and Firestar had'd so much fun this day. Theyd brung back enough food for the hole clan. **(Holeclan? Never heard of that clan before.)**

Locking upn at the stars she turned to her best friend, JazzPaw, and said, "Do you think well ever be up there." **(no you'll be in the dark forest because your spelling is so bad it killed a hundred people.)**

"Ya totally." Said JazzPaww. "I mean youll be l,eader **(I would leave the forest if this happened)** and I'll be depudy one day well have too!"

"Ya." Said StarPaw smiling she loved JazzPaw NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS!) **(What's wrong with being gay? Gay is not an insult people!)** they were best friends. She loked up at the stars again and smiled and fell asleep wit the Starcaln voices whisper in her head. **(Call an Asylum!)**

REVIEW R MY LIFE

(lol u like it Jazzy I mead you as kawai as I could( **(She meaded her best friend? Wt heck man!)**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed! This will continue!**


	6. Chapter For StarPaws decids

**Hey peoples! A new update is here after being BEGGED by my best friend!**

flamrs ur all satanits!11 anyon who dosent like the stro is a staneist cause StarGIPaw has such a strng conecton with sTarcaln and thats why you dot like it, **(I don't like it because you suck at spelling)** its cause u do ntlik JEZUS! **(Holy crap)**

"StarPaw wok **(Wok wok! Alarm clock!)** up its tim 4 parole." **(Parade? Patrol? Peril? What are we talking about here, I say peril!)**

StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys **(Rainbow eyes? That's not a thing! I mean come on already!)** and locked arund.

"Omigosh who wus tha!1!1"Sshe yellow. **(I thought she was a gray cat...?)**

"Its me GrayStipe" GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.

"Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. "Wll u be my mat" **(His MAT? Like a foot mat? Will she just lay outside the warrior den all day antil he comes back so he can wipe his feet on her?)** hE ESked.

"OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic!" StarKit scremed. "but FireStar alredy esked me." **(When?)**

"wel then hes jst an idot." **(So rude)**

y do u say tha?" yellED STARPaw GayStrip locked at hr meanly. **(I thought you wanted to have her as you mate? Why are you looking at her meanly?)** "i dont lik him" sqeakd GrayStripe **(I thought those two were friends...?)** he locked arund fastly. **(That grammer though)** "hes a mean cat!

"OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?" STARPAW SHOCKED. **(She's Mark Mardon disguised as a female cat!)**

"No ur much prtter then sourg" **(Don't insult her by focusing on her looks! Focus on what's INSIDE!)** said Graystripe he licked her on the head I want u to be my mat." **(Forget it bruh, she's not gonna be your foot mat, I don't think Butter Mom would approve)** he yeleled.

"Well mabey. but what would FireStar say?" she wispereed. GrayStripe locked around agan. "I dont think he wuld mind." **(He already has a mate! Of course he won't mind!)** said GraStri;e

"OMIGOSH SUR THAN!" StarPaww yelleded happly.

"Wat ar uo ta;kin abut" said FireHert **(I thought he was a leader...?)** he was walkin up. He locked angrily.

"oh uhhhh nuthin FireStar go back to sleep!" mwled StarPaw hoppin **(just hoppin around the room... perfectly normal...)** he would leaf **(He would look nice as a leaf!)** so she culd be alon with grayStripe.

"Yah FireStra theres nithing to wory about!" cherrid GrayStrpe but Firestar didn't leave insted he said i thought I herd you asking her to be our mate." **(No, you heard Graystripe asking her to be _his_ _mat_ ) **

"oh uh yeh. yELLED STARPaw but he didn;t leaf instead he jumped on GrayStripe!1!11

"I Want to be wit her!" **(Why?)** said FireHart attakin GraySriep.

"No I do!" shouted. **(Who shouted? Who was doing the shouting?)**

"guysys stop fihting you can BOTH be my mats! **(She gets TWO foot mats? I'm so jealous)** StarPaw wispered apply like seCert."

"No we can;t do that their can only be 1!11 Howled Firestar. "Otter **(Or or! Clearly an Otter noise)** wies youll chet on us."

"So StarGleam, who will u pik?" giggled GayStipe. **(I'm done. I'm just freaking done)**

 **Hope you enjoyed! I was kidding about being done by the way, this will continue!**


	7. Chapter Five Untidles

**I'm actually providing updates at a reasonable pace!**

UR OLL JUST SAINTS **(Not me!)** y cant u just except jEsuss **(Why don't you stop criticizing atheists?)** it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again

StarPaw sad **(COOKIE MONSTER SAD)** "I..i….." she was so foncusded! **(Does that mean messed up in the head?)** Thes to cats hard asked her to b there mates **(No they asked you to be their _mats_** **)** an wht was she supops to do? They we beoth handsome and althing, but bot had matss! **(ok so they already had foot mats, and yet they want her to be a second? #Greedy!)** Nhd she luvved them both! FirstAr wus so kind and he oviusly likked her allot. GayStirpe was so funny and col.

"!" said StarPaw ass **(Starpaw's ass said this? Why do these cats have mouths all over their bodies!)** she ruan in to the forest. It wus to muck# **(why was she mucking horse stalls?)** she culdnt choss!

She run and ran and run til ur paws her hurtinged. Hen she rrellized she corsed the broader. Oih no she thugh Shadowclan will get me. **(You beat the crap out of Blackstar and now...?)** "wut are you ding here?" sd BalkStar s he waked up.

"I'm sorry!" mewoed StarKit I didn't men too!" **(That's what they all say!)**

That's ok" sed blackStar. "no wons perfeck." **(who are you and what have you done with Blackstar?)** "no that's not true." Said StarPaw, offed. "StarClan is.""Waht do you mena?" wemed BlackStar. **(I have no idea what's going on, that spelling was so bad)**

"well the give us all this halpand stuff" **(yeah... so much help...)** said Starpaw. "without them we wold be lust." **(lust?)** She said.

"I gess that's ter " **(and yet you betrayed Starclan at one point)** balkcStar said, "besid I didn't relly mean that neway.

"o really why?" said starpaw. "becus yo are." **(Holy crap)**

'WHAT' YOWLED sTarpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle her. **(Dude, BOUNDRIES)** "WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?" **(you don't mole straep woman dude!)**

"e—" BlakStar started too expaln, but, StarPw wass to quick

"no" she Sid "I don't doned another tom after me!" "I got enog porbelms arigt now anywy! **(yeah!)**

"but yor pahfect." **(NO)** Said Blackstar. "you betted me in badle you HAVE TO BE " **(did you not hear me? I said NO)**

"NO!" shitted SarPaw **(Did the pooped come out of her mouth or did the fart from the poop sound like the word no? I'm confused!)** Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!" **(naw)**

 **Hey! I'm glad you guys are still enjoying!**


	8. Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1

**Sorry! I know, it's been awhile, but hopefully this was worth the wait, I have a Youtube channel to manage, and I have my Swimming and Archery, so my schedule is packed.**

STOP REVOFIGN BAD! **(Not me! *whistles*)** but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levving **(BFF's!)**

StarPaw skided into de Camp. "FIRSTAR" SHE YOWLED "I ha to tel; uo somesting?" **(float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. And also, why with the question mark?)**

"nut **(I think you mean NUTTY)** ow StarOaw" **(oaw oaw oawa oaw oaw oaw oaw! I stepped on a lego!)** he sadi "yuve gut to become WARRIOR!'

"MOGOSH REALLY creamed StarPaw. **(WHIPPED CREAM!)**

YEAH SAID firestar "Youv been a war for onll 3.14 **(Those math skills though)** dayss butt u are the best apent ice in the cAlan. Ur perfect. We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. **(for the love of Butter mom it was ONE CAT, and they haven't even been near you since!)** And all teh other calns. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle of a warr. " **(GORILLA WARFARE!)**

"omgosh WE ARE?" scremmed StarPal she sus so surpissed! **(I would be pissed too!)**

"Ya DustPelt did while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us." Said SandTrom. She locked sortaf sad she New FireStart lovved Stargleam. **(um, SPOILER ALERT, she's not a warrior yet!)** But it wass ok she newt wht wus best. **(That does not sound like Sandstorm at ALL)**

"OMGoht" sid StarPaw. "Quickk mack me a warrror!" **(A warrror? Is that like another name for a soldier who fights in wars?)**

"Oak" **(TREE!)** said Firestar. He wlaked up to StarPaw. "aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey!" **(only one?)**

"Tday we are making a new Warrior." **(In a laboratory MWAHAHAHAHA!)**

The calnn GASPED! **(Why are we gasping? This stuff happens)**

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They all new infancy **(*snort* who said anything about a new infancy?!)** it was she whom was beng mad a warrior.

Starpaw was so exited! She'd never bin so hap inner life! **(Hap hap hap! Hop hop hop! I don't even know)**

"StarPaw….." said FirePaw. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore. "Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:"

"Yes!" she shock3d. **(SHE'S AN ELECTRIC EEL! RUUUUN!)**

"oak." **(TREE!)** Eh sad. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw **(Wasn't she already Starpaw BEFORE?)** for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann. We onner you'r bravvery and" " kindness."

"SarkPaw! StarPaw! **(ok... I guess she is being made an apprentice! Sarkpaw! Starpaw!)** : shouted the clan. They **(Decided they were cannibals and ate her)**

StarGleam **(when was the gleam added?)** girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!" **(It scared me enough when you were just an apprentice)**

"FireScar," **(That actually sounds a lot cooler than Firestar! I'm not even being mean it seriously does)** she said, cuming **(HOLY CRAP THIS JUST GOT INAPPROPRIATE SHUTTING DOWN! SHUTTING DOWN!)** over 2 him. "I wanna tell u somesing." They locked sirously at him.

"yeah wat is it?" he sad, hop **(Hop hop!)** shinning in his eayres. **(is that like a half-ear half-eye?)**

Dos he knew? StarGlema think.

"Firestar…." She brethed. She cullednt she was actually dong this after so lung. **(um... it's been a few hours...)**

"I….." **(am a hoe!)**

WINDCLAN ATTAK! Shioted a voise from obove the Camp. **(since when do warrior cats have guard towers?)**

It was….

HOLYLEAF! **(KILL IT WITH FIRE!)**

I workd reall' herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good **(THIS is you trying? I don't even wanna know what not trying looks like)** so plzz review NICE!

 **Hey guys, so sorry that this is out so late, but like I said at the top, been busy, but hey, I finally updated Darkstar's Life!**


	9. Chapter Six Desions,

**Hey guys, this chapter was supposed to come out before the last one but someone (you know who you are) sent me the wrong chapter XD**

STUP GLAMING!11! **(I never Glamed you, you deserve no glam)** IF YOU'R AN FLAM,E **(I'M ON FIRE!)** YOUR A STNITS AND WIL BUN IN HEIKL! **(Um what is with this guy/girl and calling everyone a Satanist?)**

LASTEST TIEM ON STARKITS PROPEHY:; **(No! Not again!)**

"NO!" shitted SarPaw **(what is with these cats and words coming out of all parts of their bodies?)** Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. **(How would you pronounce that?)** 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"

Afert tat StrPaw walkde thru the frost. **(At least bring a coat!)** She wus so depresedded! Hu was seh sapost to pik?/?/ Then she saw JayFethre cumin **(WHAT THE PICKLE! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND! HOW INAPPROPRIATE AND BRAIN DAMAGING DOES THIS GET?)** thru the forst tords her.

"JayFeathr im soooo confusedd wat do i do she yelled their are three toms atref me! TREEE!"! **(TREE! TREE! TREE! RUUUUUN!)**

i know" sed jayFethr he locked happy. "thats good four you it menzz that p[eo[le like uo. he told he smilling. **(Like a snake? I don't know where that came from)**

"NO NUT I LUV ALL OF THEM" **(oh no! How tragic!)** sed StarPaw back waling upst. "I DON'T KNO WHO TO [ICK!1!1" **(Just lick them all and get it over with!)**

"wel ten let me tel yo a stor.y **(NO)** said JayFeathern and he sat don. Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that I licked." **(What.)**

"hu where they sad StarPaw snifing. **(Jayfeather)**

"theyre names were DawnSpark;e and... Stick/ **(What kind of name is that?)** saud JayFeather.

"OMG STICK **(Stick? I like TREE! Better)** wispred StarPaw "YOU WHERE IN LUV WITH A STICK? **(Yea, because he's a hoe, huh, now I know where you get it)** She culdnt belief it. After al this tim she finds out that her fathe loved a sTICK. SHE GAPD IN SHOC.

"Wat did you do? she esked thoug cuase she was crios.

Wel I culdn have kids with a stcik now culd i?" **(No, you can't. And, wait! So he was _actually_ in love with a stick? I thought he just loved a she-cat named stick)** said JayPaw **(Um since when has he been an apprentice again?)** and he locked confuded. LIKE HE DIDN;T EVN KNO SHE WAS GNNA ASK THt qestn. **(YEAH! What... she... said...)**

"sO YOU WENT WITH DAWNSPARKLE INSTD! YELLED STARpaw locking vry happi. **(Good to know your mother was the second best)** "but that doesn;t help me what am I spost to do?/?

"Folo youre hart said Jayfeahr. "Who do yo want to be wit/" **(How does a story about being unable to have kits with a stick have ANYTHING to do with her dramatic issue?)**

Hmm StarPaw taught for a secund. FireStar!" **(Sandstorm gonna rip you up)** she yelldd and then run of to tel him that she ;oved him

NO FLAMSE!1!12!1 **(Really, you wait until I'm DONE flaming the whole story to say that?!)**

 **Hee hee hee! Enjoy! And thank you for all the good reviews!**


	10. Chatter NEIN Teh Evil Tigger and holY

**Hey guys! A new chapter is out ; )**

I SAID NO FLAMES! **(And I said I'll ignore you)** YOUR JUST JELOS YOUR GOING 2 HEL LJESS IS OYUR SAVER **(lol that grammar though!)**

"Ohno its HolyLeaf!" **(OMG! FLY IN THE HOUSE! KILL IT!)** yelled FireStra he ranned away. **(My hero.)** SandStrom wnet aftre him.

StarGlaem locked up. HolyLeaf was stnding their and their was anodder chat **(Like a chat box next to her head?)** with hr.

"OMIGOSH ITS TIGGERSTAR!" **(Tigger? Like from Winny The Pooh?)** she hossed. "WHTA WIL WE DO!" **(Die)**

"we figt." **(Famous last words)** saud Jayfeathre and he ran at HollyLeaf. StarGlema washed as HolyLefa locked at JayFather and kiled him with one shot. **(#rekt)**

"YOU KILDED MY FTHER! **(Well that sucks)** she yelled and she attcked HolyLeaf. HollyPaw **(Ok so now this world-famous deadly scary cat is an apprentice?)** gut out of the way and StarPaw attaked TiggerSar. **(Bouncin' is what Tiggers do best!)**

"U killed TigerStra!" **(No she killed TIGGERstar, you misunderstood)** uelled FiresStar he locked happy. "You are speshil!" **(WAIT! OK, so this story has mentioned Scourge right? The one who killed Tigerstar for real? And now Stargleam did it? So why is Scourge so special then? What did he do to earn his legendary title in this story?)**

StarGleam was sooo happy, she didng notse as HollyLea grabbed Firestar and took him way. **(Ok, so now they are taking hostages, and the Thunderclan leader just gets kidnapped *snap* like that?)**

"OH NO" yelled StarKit. **(Didn't she JUST get made warrior?)** "WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM! **(The reverse damsel in distress situation!)**  
a cilf hunger1!111! **(Not really : (...)** see im a god riter **(naw)** i no what thta id thx f4r the good revweiws JzzPaw  && everon else WHOSE NIT A FALMER **(So I don't get a thank you? Eh, I don't really care that much)**

 **Hey guys, I'm so glad to see that you are enjoying this, and thank you so much for the good reviews!**


	11. Chapter Ten The Recluse

**Speed update ; ) I'm actually (heh heh) hoping this will make up for the fact that I probably won't be updating this story until sometime after February 15th, PROBABLY. I might be able to squeeze it into my busy schedule if I get good reviews ; ) until then, Enjoy!**

"EVERONE FALLOW ME" **(Um, the deputy is supposed to take charge if the leader is unavailable... and, I wouldn't follow her if she was the only one to follow)** meowled StarPleam **(Did anyone else think of a peach and a plum at the same time as they read that?)** as see charred for th3 entranse to eh camp. Tares stremmed down her face1 **(Can cats cry? I seriously don't know, I know their eyes can get super teary but I don't know if cats can cry from sadness)** she wuss so sad her fahter had deid her leader was gunn. **(He turned into a gun)** "FLAMEPAW LAKEPAW DUSTPELT MOM **(No one in the warrior cats world calls their mother 'mom' they just say their name)** LOINBLAZE FALLOW ME." She said. "I NEDD A PAROL." **(Once again, that's a deputy's job)**

The run into the frost their pass working fastly. She wood **(TREE!)** kill HolyLeaf and TigerSar **(Didn't she kill him already?)** for what thed don!

She batlecried using his nose **(WHAT IS WITH THESE CATS AND HAVING MOUTHS ALL OVER THEIR BODIES?!)** to tar down the evill cats. **(What are you gonna mummify them?)** Her heat burneded! **(...)**

Sune they had funded them. **(They had funded their collage)** They were hidnig bwhind a bolder. "HAHAHAH" LAUGHED HOLylesf putting er claw on FiresTarS thort. **(DO IT! PLEASE! THIS IS NOT THE FIRESTAR FROM THE BOOKS, JUST DO IT!)** "IVE GOT YOU KNOW!"

StarGleam gasped. "noooooo Fireheat!" **(That would actually have been a fitting name)** she scemmed "FalmePawgo!" **(Why would you send an apprentice first?)** she said.

Flamepaw hurled at HolyLeaf. Hollyleaf laked at her in suprise. "What how could they have fallowd me." She dogged **(A skill Stargleam refused to learn)** at Flamepaw her blue eys fallshig.

"NO FLAMEPAW" whaled LakePaw seing her sisters **(I thought it was just the one...?)** about too die. "I LOVE YOU FALMEPAW." **(People always do crazy things, when they're in love -Meg)** She yowled jumping herself in front of HOlyLeaf.

HollyLaffs paw cutt into hir throt blood came out LakePaw felt down. **(dang, how freaking fast is Hollyleaf? And since when has she been the bad guy? she was always the good guy in the books)**

"NOOOO!1!11" StarPaw screamed. "FLAMEAPWWW!" **(I thought it was Lakepaw that was dying I AM SO CONFUSED WHILE READING THIS STORY!)** She ran for HoltLeaf but it wass no us. LakPaw was dyeing. "I lofe you StarGleam." **(*Sniff sniff*)** She wisperd before er blue I's cosed.

"NO WAKE UP LAKEPOOL" **(She died an apprentice, and, you don't have the authority to make her a warrior)** shoited Stargleam-she was so sad and depersed she was cyring!

"hahaha" laughed HollyLeaf evil. "u just dunt gedot d o you Im one of teh Tree! **(TREE!)** I have pows beyound ur emaginating!" **(Um, she didn't have powers in the books, that was even like a thing, they tried for a long time to see if she had powers and it was clear she didn't)** nd then…. She turned in…. A BARE! **(What?)**

"Gasped" gasped everyone. It was a bare! **(Kill it with fire!)**

"IM A SHAPSHITTER!" **(So you can shape poop? That's a nice power!... I guess)** siad Hollylea joyly.

"stargleam." Said FalmePaw cryingly. "I nedd to go back 2 the damp. I goat bury laekpaw. Ive neverbeen out of camp before how do you get back!" **(Um, she was an apprentice long before Stargleam, how would she not have been out of camp before? Was she just gathering moss constantly?)**

"U ju wak to te the est. said StarPaw."

Thaks said FlamePaw crying she piced up the LakePaw and putter on her back and run. **(Run forest! Run!)**

"nut so fast!" said Holyleaf! "Your not gunna get away that easly!" Wit a rar like an volcano erection **(BOOM!)** she jumped at StarGlaem! **(I can just imagine a giant bear jumping on her XD)**

Everone! Gasped! "NOOOO." Yowled STarGleam as sumething lung and sarp pluned into her bk. "YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY." **(Yeah she can!)**

Everyone jumped at the HoBare! **(The ho bear? That bear is a real tool! *Snort* bad pun sorry)** The bare rared in pane! Starepaw sent her teeth into its for. It rared.

"oak oka" HolyLeafthe bare said. "i no know Your not guna be bettin that esliay." **(Aw man!)** Suddenly she was a cat1 then her body dropped her eyes went drka she was on the grund. Suddly ther wass howl from the other side of the froste. It was LaFlamePaw! **(La Flamepaw is here to save the day!)**

"LAKEPAW UR BACK!" **(She has been resurrected!)** SHE SAD **(COOKIE MONSTER SAD!)**

WHT SAID SPARGLAME. Thenshe locked. It was LakePool! **(Once again, isn't she supposed to be an apprentice?)** She was runnin tord the forest starGleam was so appy. Then she sawyer **(Tom Sawyer!)** eyes.

….

THEY WERE OLLYLEAFS! **(DUN DUN DUN!)**

the next chatter wil coke **(Let's hng back, have some coke and chatter!)** soon! AND STUP FLAMMING YOU HAETRS. YOU JUST DONT BELVE IN GOOD. **(I do believe in good, that's why I'm criticizing this story)**

 **MWAHAHAHAHA! Hollyleaf is a possessive witch! AND SINCE WHEN IS SHE THE BAD GUY?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY! Anyway I hope you enjoyed, and remember to leave a good review so that I can update soon! I have gotten nothing but good reviews so far, let's keep it up!**


	12. Catter 1 The Fiht Aganst the Sitters 1

**I just wanted to mention before I start criticism, how many spelling errors show up whenever I do this! You know how when you spell something wrong it gets underlined in red? Well almost this whole story is underlined in red. XD**

"Oh nose!" **(*Sniff sniff*)** yellded StarPaw she wus so horrorifed. **(Oh no, what a catastrophe!)** "LakePaool is buck **(I'm a bull!)** and seh is NUT **(Peanuts or cashews?)** OKA!"

"Of coarse im not okay!" ( **I thought she was possessed...?)** LakeFall screchemd loadly she issed at StarGlame. "I'm being posesd by HolyLeaf wut do you THINK!" **(I think it's weird you can still talk while being possessed)** she yelddl and hulrd hesselv at StarPaw. StarGlme was so surpissed she culdn;t mofe **(YES! PLEASE! DIE!)**

Then... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **(Que the music!)** It was...

REDPAW! **(Who?)** Redpaw runnth over to StarPaw and jumped in font of herr and LakePolawm hit her insta. **(DANGIT!)**

"Nuu Redpaw!" **(Yeah _Redpaw_ she was about to die! It was almost a happy ending!)** chked StarGlamea and she locked at RedPaw. "RedOaw are yu okayo?" **(Yeah, because you're always fine after being clawed open by an evil, vicious, possessed cat)** she esked upsed. RedPaw cughed. "No im not but at leaat I sawed yuour lif! **(Woo-hoo)** she sed and then he did. StarFlame locked at RedPaw she wus so buttifly **(She turned into a butterfly? How does that work?)** then StarGleam shock her hud. "No Im STRREET!" **(Wait I thought you were a butterfly! How can you be a street too?)** she taught madly. "but now what do we dao agant LakePaw!" she lucked up. LakePaw was runnen toward Loinblzx and she was WIDESPED!

"NOWWWWWWW LIonHEAR!" **(OK! Is this guys name Lion heart or Lionblaze?** wisprd StarGalem and she ran towed LionBlaze and she hit LakePaw, who did to.

"StarGlame I will get u for thiss11 **(IDGAF!)** sed LakePaw as SatinClaw **(Satinclaw? Really?)** drag away to hellClan. **(Since when was that a thing?)** He waswerng oink **(PIGGYS!)** naie Polish. **(Um, since when do cats were nail polish? Since when do cats KNOW about nail polish?)** then StarGlame stinted to crry as she realed that her sitter ass ded. **(Boo hoo, I have an idea! She's actually just inside that ravine, jump in and you'll see her again!)**

"you killd my Subjt!" **(Um, creepy freaking, mad scientist experiments?)** HolyLeaf rared turng back in a bare. **(isn't she dead?)** "Ilus get you for thi!" she saud and then she rudhed at StarPlame. **(WHAT IS THIS CHIC'S NAME?! WHAT THE HECK!)** "Oh o!" yelld every1 "tarPaw **(Thick, sticky, painful, impossible to get out of and away from, she IS made of tar!)** got our of the Way!" **(Naw)**

Tim semd to slow danw as StarPawlem run awy from the bare. But she ran left into... TIGGERSTAR!" **(Bouncin' is what tiggers do best! And wait, didn't he die?)**

"Fuhrstar! yellded a TiggerStraw. **(I'm sorry I'm crying with laughter right now XD)** "You ar gong to did now!" And he held out... SOME JEW! **(OH NO, NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!... what is that?)**

"Omg jyew!" elld FamePaw she locked at the yew. **(Oh YEW the stuff that makes you throw up!)** "But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it." They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt. The nwt ran away. **(I don't blame it)**

"... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled FamePaw. **(Spent all my life with money and fame! And you gotta live with the bad blood now!)** "Now the yew is gunna wkr!

"Ete the yew!" sadi TiggerStar he thirst it at StarGlame StarGleam baked away. **(Force her to eat it! And make sure you get it on camera! XD)** "You're never get moi to ete it!" she esked and then she held "YOUE NEVER TOOK ME ALIV!" **(I'm sure he totally wants you to be alive)**

"are you so sur?" aksed TigerClar and then he lung at StarGlema and grabed her and ran away. **(Kill her! Do it while you still can!)** "Youl never cathg me!1111 he laght meanly. "Im gong to Shadowcaln!" **(Why would you tell them where your going? You are extremely stupid Tigerstar)** And then he luf.

Guyx I ben working relly hard on this **(That's really sad)** wile I was gon. im sor'ry for the wait. **(Relax! We finally got to stop hiding from the horror of your terrible spelling/grammer!)** Revew betetr and ill updat mor quick **(NOOOO)  
**


	13. Cahpter 12 The Sark Forest

**Can we please talk about the title to this chapter? "The sark forest"? Is that like a forest filled with birds? Anyway, sorry for the long wait, I was moving and had no time to spare!**

"NO!" **(YES!)** yewled StarKit. She run after TigerClaw. but he was to fat. **(Wouldn't being fat make him slower? And isn't he a leader already? So his name would be TigerSTAR?)** She cudlnt catch up. Finly she stoped. She was so tried so sad, **(The love o' my life just left meh!)** Teres begun to role down her face: her sitser was deed **(I'm not dead yet!)** and tigerstar had ExcapeD! **9What exactly are you planning to do when you catch him? Put him in Sol's den?)**

"y am I so ulsess?/?/' **(Oh shut up Mary Sue, stop whining!)** she dsked. "why couldnt i kill her?" "its not opur falt. Sadi a voice from bedide her. "WHAT WHOSE THEIR" **(Your worst nightmare, FREDDY KRUGER MWAHAHAHAHA!)** SHE SAID JUMPED.

It juts me. **(Who?)** " said JayWing waking to bedside her. ( **Oh the guy who wanted to make love with a stick, I remember you!)** "Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead." **(Sadly)** "what" said StarGleam "What dlo you men."

"hes in the Dakr Froset!" **(Good riddance!)** said JayFeather. "hess allready ded!" **(Dangit!)** oh no what do I do thouth starGeam.

"we can go to teh Dark Forste but its ver danger." **(Do it! Do it! Do it!)** Mewled Jayfeater. "tack me their!" sad StarGleam.

She slepped **(She slapped someone, or she _slept)_** and then they were in the Fark Forest. It was dark. **(REALLY? It's dark in a place called the dark forest? I never would have guessed!)** Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see. They herd voices! It wass TiggerStar! **(Kill her PLEASE!)**

"ok tjen well kell her ND invade Thundercaln" **(If you have a dream, don't wait, ACT! -Axel Kingdom Hearts II)** he was said. "WHAT NOO!" said StarPaw **(OH MY GOD IS SHE AN APPRENTICE A WARRIOR OR A KIT?)** she jumped at him. she was aboot to hit him when BlackStripe was there! "TIGERSAR WATCH OUT" said BlackStrip. TierStar loocked at her and he clawed her. It wasnt fare! **(It was very fair)**

StarGleam fell to the ground blood was cuming from a wand on her sholder. **(ummm... she just had a random magical wand sitting on her shoulder?)** It was a lot of red blod. HawekFrost Looked at her. She was so buetiful so kawai, he was thought just like FirStar. He loved her. He had to save her. **(Seriously? This girl could be a humongous Jerkwad moron, but no, she's pretty and that's all that matters.)**

He jumped in TiggerStar! He bit him! But it wa s to lat. StarPaw was dyeing. "it was turning balkc. "I love you seh said as she did. **(Hurl)**

AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11! **(YEEEEESSSSSSSS! FINALLLLLLYYYY! OMG I'M SO HAPPY! HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE!)**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed!**


	14. Cahpter 13 The Metang Wit Sartcaln

**Ok, I'm starting to think the person who wrote this was spelling it so badly on PURPOSE, it's just so bad I can't even comprehend how a human being can spell so badly! I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm being truthful. By the way sorry this took so long, I was moving and I couldn't update.**

"Omigish what happnd! **(You ded)** shrekd StarPaw. She looked arung. "am I in Starclan?" **(No, your in Amsterdam)** she eskes when she say the cats that she new. **(What)**

"No of cours not your in the Daek Forest!" **(Yes!)** gagged a gray he-cat. StarGlame locked around windly for TiggerStar but she culd;nt sea him. "Yes your in SatrCaln! **(Crap)** said the she-ca. It was YellowFang. "Wher else wood you be?" **(Amsterdam! Duh!)**

"Yuo dont need to be so red! **(She's not the one who's embarrassed!)** said StarGlame she was mad." **(Kewl)**

sorry said YelllowFang but that made me made." **(Can you repeat that in English please?** )

"its ok" said StarGleam. "but i was in the sark forest so...HOW DID I DYE? **(Easy, when you _died_ your blood spurted everywhere, essentially _dying_ the grass red!)**

"TigerStra killed you" **(Go Tigerstar! You killed a Mary Sue!)** said BlueeStar cumin over to her. "he can send cats to starcaln even from the drk Foret" **(So?)**

"Wait so then I'm died?" **(Yes you are died)** StarGlame. "What do i do no? I cant safve the frost like this!" **(only mother nature can save the frost, by making Winter last a little longer.)**

"That why we aer gong to send you bak to Thnduer clan!" **(What! No! No! No! Nuh uh! I said no!)** saud WhitStrip. "But we also have somsing very imptent to tell you first." **(Like "Just kidding you're actually dead forever"?)**

"Omg what is it" lauged StarPaw she stinted to jump up and down with joe." **(Who the hell is Joe?)** "I wnat to knew" **(Me too, seriously who's Joe?)**

"wel their are ten thigs we ned to give you before you goe" said LeafPool and she gave StarGlame 2 rocks with writting on them. "their the ten commons!" **(Stop! Stop right there, you are under arrest for putting the power of the world into the hands-er, paws! Of Starpaw! The idiotic Mary Sue who doesn't know how to English!)**

"OMG THE TEN COMMONDENTS" squelled StarGleam and she was so exited. "I GET TO HAVE TEN COMMNDMENTS?" **(They just gave them to you, yes! You can have them! Although i am quite against this idea!)**

"Ya" said BleuStar "we need to give them to the calns but they wont liten. Thats why we nedd you to do it four us!" **(A pathetic last resort)**

"Okay" said StarGlame and she left Starclan talking the rocks with **(Then everyone died. The End!)**

 **Hiya! Bya!**


	15. Chapter Fortene The Ten Commdaments

**When I read this chapter I was PISSED, just bear with me till' the end.**

Stargalme come down in2 thunderclaln camp. It was dark. **(HOLD ME MOMMY!)** Their were no cats otusdie. "SLL CATS GATER" **(Since when has she had the authority)** she sadi. They cats gatehred. "I have Tebn Conmondants frum Starclam/" **(StarCLAM? Is that a star-shaped clam?)** she said. The cats gapsed. The started to mummur. "be quite" **(Shut yo big mouths)** starGleam sad. Tehy were quite.

"here she said pushing th3 roks foreword. "Loack at the them. Yu must fallow these commodents fur your hole lifes if you wnt to ge5t into Starcan." **(** **So no pressure)** She said. They loked at the roxk.

"1. thou shat not belive in other goIncesters **(THAT'S CALLED DICTATORSHIP!)**

2\. Dont make any picturs of anyhing and warhip them. **(Cats do not have pictures!)** If ou do ai will punsch you an ur grankits. **(Rude)**

4\. don't say Starcclan in vane. **(That's a dumb rule)**

5\. Work for 6 days and worshipe me on 1. **(Over my dead body)**

6\. Repsect our mom and dad. **(Nah)**

7\. Dont kill otters unless in batl.e **(Too late!)**

8\. don't br unfateful to our mat. **(What if I don't like him/her anymore?)**

9/ Dotn steel things from he other cland. **(Hasn't that been a rule for like, ever?)**

10\. Dnt lie aboot yiour nieborgh. **(Um... specifically your neighbor? Can I lie about my cousin?)**

10\. Don't be jelos og your neiborgh. **(My neighbor ain't got nothin on me!)**

11\. No BENG GAY!f **(Go die in a fire bitch!)**

The cat GAPSED. "Im sorry" said DaysPow. "ive ben a sinner. Ill do better next time!" **(Don't be ashamed! All these rules are beyond stupid)** Al the cats agred. StarPaw was happy! Teh were aon the write pat! **(You mean A path not the RIGHT one, just A one)** If hey fallowed Sartclan thay woud neber go wong! **(If they follow those rules they will always be wrong)**

But suddenly she saw somesting! It was….. REdpaw and LakePaool KISSING **(Cool. Also, didn't Lakepool and Redpaw die?)**

**I'm a weirdo face!**


	16. Cohpter Fiften THE TURTH

**This chapter made me so mad, also I apologize in advance for any spelling errors, I will try to fix them all, but I got a new keyboard and it's really weird, and I'm still getting used to it!**

StarGlam marced ofer too RedPaw and LakePaw she looked angrily. "WhT DID I JUTS SAY?/" **(You didn't say anything, the cats looked at the rocks)** she esked. "The elfenth commonment is NO BEING GAY!11 **(STHU)**

"But I love her!1" said LakePol.(a/n. EW!11 THIS IS DIGUSTING) **(Hey! My best friend is gay, I will hit you over tthe head with a frying pan! For real this time!)**

"But its agant the ten commdnents!" **(To hell with what Starpaw says we should do! I say do the opposite of what she says to do! Then we all just might live!)** saud StarPaw. She wanet over and thurst herslef betwen them. "Do you WANT to go the dark foret?" **(Better than a world where you dictate)**

"Yes?" ansed RedPaw. **(Attagirl! Also, isn't she dead?)**

"No you dont" said StarGleam "it'sa relly horribld place." I kno, Ive been their!" **(Cause you suck)**

Were sory **(Don't apologize! You did nothing wrong!)** said RedPaw and lakePolw. **(Seriously, didn't they both DIE?)** They locked sadly. "We wont do it agan." **(Do it! Do it! Do it!)**

"I hope not" said StarGlame turng around and walkin back to FireStar. "We have to show this to the rets off the calns. **(You want to get socked? Oh hi, didn't see you there)**

"ok said FireStar" "we should go to the Gathern." **(That's conveniently tonight)**

"If we go to the Gathern then I can shoe off **(Shoe shoe! Away with you!)** the commendments to the other claans1" gagged **(YES! She's choking!)** StarGlame happ;y. "Cmon lets go!" She ran of not wating fro any other cat and then she was at the Gathern!

"ATENSION ALL CATS" she yelled lepping to the HighRock. **(She is not the leader! She can't do these things!)** ?"I NEDD YOU'RE ATTENSION I HAVE AN ANNOUNCER" **(It's not you is it?)**

"Omg what is it!11!1" shocked **(I knew it! Starpaw is Mark Mardon is disguise! And she just shocked Mistyfoot!)** MitsyFoot. "Is it imptent!" **(No, you can all go home.)**

"Yes of cors its imptent!111!1"! **(PHSYC!)** yellded StarGleam "or else I wuldnt be hear!" "I have the ten Commandmeonts and you need to kno what they ar!" **(RUN! HIDE YOUR KITS! HIDE YOUR MATE!)** She red the ten commons ot to the other calns and theny all bowed down to her. **(THIS IS ARMAGEDDON!)** Thank you for teling use SarkGleam they said happly." "We sont sin again!" **(SHE'S LYING! SHE'S JUST TELLING YOU THESE THINGS TO GAIN POWER!)**

"God" **(There is no god in the warriors world!)** said StarGleam she jumped form the HighRoke. She saw FireStar cumin threw the crowed towed jer. "StarGlame you are a much beter cat then me **(That was an incorrect statement on so many levels)** at this1 you should be letter. **(I don't have the time to tell you everything wrong with what you just said)** Im not deid so ill go join the eldlers insted!" **(Ya'll can't bee together if u old bruh!)** he said and he tuched his noise to StarGleams. "You have to go to the MonStone today to go get your nien lives. **(NO)** Ill go with you and so will JayFather." **(NO)**

"Kawaii" **(You realize Kawaii means "cute" in Japenese right? "Do not use that word! I do not think it means what you think it means!" -Damingo Montoya)** said StarGlema happly. They left the Gathern and all the cats were cherring for her, **(NO)**

So hod u guys lik eit? **(NO)** it wass so didsuting 2 rite the gya part. **(Again, I don't have the time to tell you everything wrong with what you just said)** HBut thigs are guna be better no inteh clams! **(Not now that your the leader of Thunderclan! Bad things!)** Also if ur a bad reveiwer u dont belive in Gosh **(No I don't)** ull go 2 hekc. **(Don't believe in hell either)** thx guys for the god reveis. ! **(If there was a god he wouldn't have the time to review your story)**

 **Sorry if this story wasn't as funny as usual, it just made me so mad to read it, and I was serious about my best friend being gay, she gets so much hate, and so much teasing, and I hate it, it's causing her issues, an it makes me wanna murder. But hey, at least I spelled everything correctly!**


	17. Chaper Sixteen The Nanee Lifes

**Hiya! I'm back after only one day! Hope that makes ya'll happy**

But suddenly as SatyrGleam was leafing **(Is that a fancy way of saying playing with leaves and/or becoming one?)** theri was a nose from the bushs **(A nose? Seriously?)** and Shadwclan spring out!2! **(Thought Shadowclan was already there...)** their was TailPoppy LittleCold, RedStrom OwlPad SchorcWind (there from the Alliances I mad them warrior they don apear in the books) **(No Crap)** and CeaderGeart, and Twanypelt  & RustFur, all of BlacStars bets warriors. StarGleams malting orange swammed with suprise. What ere they going t do? "StarGlaw" said Blackstar sadly. "U cant becomed leader then it will be inblossble for us to have kitsss!" **(Ok, this time I DO have the time to tell you everything wrong with what you just said: 1. What the heck does her being leader have to do with it? 2. She's from a different clan 3. She's like, multiple years younger than you! 4. WHO SAID SHE WANTED TO HAVE KITS WITH YOU? 5. YOU ARE NOT HER MATE YOU SICKO!)** jhe said.

"Ive got to do BlackSrar its my detsiny." **(Pick a new one, PLEASE for the sake of everyone!)** You cant fihtg feet.' **(You can fight feet! They're just feet! What chance do they have?)**

"No!" he meowled. "I don't want to loose you!" **(You never had her in the first place...)** "Its oky" sad FireHeart **(Firestar you are surprisingly calm about someone from another clan hitting on your GF)** he was called that new sinch he wasnt ladder, **(...)** he hadnt leafed yeat. "Ya" sad GaryStripe **(Gary? Like Gary the snail from Spongebob?)** "we lofe her to" **(I feel like multiple people should be able to get married at once.)**

"ok" sad BlackStar sadly. They wacked away. **(Wack.)** StarGlem was glad, she had anew love. **(New?)** Se didnot want 2 dell **(Dell Laptop? Those things suck, no joke)** with this wright now.

StarGleam mead LoinBalze her depudy **(Who was the deputy before?)** he take the clkan back to camp. Her and JayFeather and FireStar walked to the MoonPool. "I cant belive it sadi StrGleam. "I can." Said JayFeater he was smelling StarPaw **(That's not creepy.)** almots gasped shed never seen her father smiel befour! **( : ( )** "Your a grate leddar StarGleam **(You can't make determinations like that before she's even been leader yet!)** ive always none since the first day I saw yo." **(You never could have known she would even end up being leader!)**

"Relly." She aksed. "Relay," he said. She smiled to for teh firts time in a log time **(Log time, must be another way of telling time, like military time!)** she was really happy! Shed had someny toms chating after her **(The toms in this series really never do shut up.)** but now this would be Oka!

They were closed to the MoonSnot **(What? Oh My God I'm laughing so hard right now XD)** now. StarGleam was startig to gut a litel nervis. Wha if starClan didnt like her? **(Why would that even be a concern?)**

They went ot the MoonPolo. **(Polo? Really?)** It was a shinny; rotund poll. StarGlean had never sen enythin so buetifly inner life befor. "im so produ of you," said FireTar **(FireTAR?)** his gaze tinkling. **(Was there Pee coming out of his eyes?)** StarGleap purSmiled and liked the warter. **(Weirdo.)**

It was dark! StarGel am opened erh eyes and she was in a froset. Then there weas lots of stars. 'like me' **(You're no star, your a cat)** she thoguth lokoing at the star in her foreheed. **(You can't look at your forehead it's physically impossible!)** Then they shinned brighter and there were cats! lost of cats and they were ver starry. Starclab!1!11! **(Ugh)**

"Are ou reedy" shouted on of them frob the front. "yes sad starKit **(She has been a warrior for some time now!)** whe was turbling with exitmente! **(...)**

"ong of them came up. It was a blue cat. 'Bullstar' **(I wanna be called Bullstar! Best name ever!)** wispered StarGleam ahstruck. "With this live I gave you liedership **(Well no frickin crap)** said BleuStar puttinger noise to StarGleams. It hurtd! BlueStar wakled away StarGleam wandered ho muck more of this she cold tack it hurt so much she terbled. **(Cry me a river build me a bridge and get over it)**

"With this life I give you corrage" said YellowFag storling up to StarPleam. It hurted like neddles!1 **(Cats do not know what needles are!)**

BambleCalw came nex. He put his mose on StarGleam's forehed. It hurt lick TiggerSTars class! **(Tigerstar's 9th grade class was awful, he would hit the kids with a stick!)**

WithStorm stambled over next. "Woth this lift. I give you strenth. Us it well to pertect your clan." **(Bet you she uses it tto take over her clan**

LeaveWind cam on to her. "Wit this life i give u nolledge." It hurt like fier!1 **(How would you know what fire feels like? You've never beeen burned before!)**

She god a liff rom BundleFace **(I would hate to have that name.)** form motherlinest a life from TailStar for qiickness,  & a life for StoneFur for bravvery. **(Isn't courage and bravery the same thing?)** She was shacking she didn nok if she cold mack it!

And then… frorm the cord…. came…. A LINO!1!11!1 **(OH NO! RUN! What's a Lino?)**

SatrGleam GASP! "This is ThunderStar" mowed TallStar. He was the first ledder of Thunerclan! OR it was called LoinClan."

StarPaw coudnt breath? She was so exited and so onered! "I cat beliv its relly you ThungerStar she said in ah. **(Ah!)** "Its meh" said the lion. He toched his mastiff nose to her nose and the pan was worst than ever befor! **(I warned you that you would get hit over the head with a frying pan if you kept this up!)** StarGleam thougth she would de! "With his life I give o HEAR. You have a realy strong heat **(U hitten on her bro?)** bfour but is even stornger now, thank you for giving comandaments to the Calns. Wath would Starclan

doo witouth you Now I will giv you a namr."

"Wat!" **(What? What happened?)** shotud StarGleam ass he opened his moth. **(SO NOW HEE HAS A MOUTH ON HIS ASS? WHY DO THEESE CATS HAVE MOUTHS ALL OVER THEIR BODIES IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!)** "I donk want my bame to be StarStar that would be stuped! **(So you and your name would match)** I want to be called GleamStsr!"

"Fery well" said LionStar doping his head he wold lisent to StarGkeam she was specal. I now pronunce you….. GLEAMSTAR!' **(Meh)**

Butt as the cats begun to cherr, there was a dankness! The darknest swolled everything! She could small BLODO! **(Blood smaells really Nasty, just sayin)** Suddenly TigerStar and HolyLeaf were there! In her vishon! She sa them tacking over the clans and ther was an arm of rogues and cats were deing! And suddenly … … their was a cat suruonded by a godlen lite!1!1! It was… HACKFROST! **(HACK HaCK!)** He made all the bad stuff disapare. **(Cool)**

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!" yelled StarGleamStar walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11! **(YOU COULD OR YOU COULDN'T"T?!)**

 **My friend practically begged me to update this, (You know who you are) so here it is!**


	18. Chapter 17 Returnr

**I've been away for almost a full week! How did you ever stand it?**

StarGleam shock her head waling **(Oh quit your crying!)** up from the derm. FireStar was looking at her and his gren eys where sorrid. "GlaeStar you were takling **(She was tackling? Tackling who? Is she such a bad ass that she tackles people in her SLEEP?)** in yuour slept are you ok?" he asked. JayFeather looked upsid to.

"Yeah yeah Im fin" StarGleam reponded gettin up. "I just had a badd dream thass all." **(Movies 101 if someone says it's nothing, it's something)** "It's nothen."

"If your sur." Said FireStrar and they left the MonoPool and headed back too **(THAT'S THE WRONG TOO! CALL THE GRAMMAR POLICE!)** the Thundercaln camp.

"GleamStar your back!" they said happy, crowding all over her. LakePaw and RedPaw looked sad thou, becas GleamStarg has sad they cant be in luv. **(It's all her fault, kill her! I dare you! Come on! It would be making the world a greater place!)** But GleamSar ingored them. **(Rude!)** But she new she had too do somefing more impotent.

"LinoBlaz" she said locking for her deputy. "I nedd you to tack a patrole tothe Sadowclan boulder," **(Shadowclan has a boulder? Run! This is Armageddon!)** "I need you ro tell BlackStar im leder know." **(Blackstar was at the meeting, he knows that your the leader!)** she said and she turnd and walked over the keader's den evwn though everone was trying to ask her questns about the serimy. "Guysz let me to to bed" **(You were just sleeping!)** she said shoeing **(Don't slap your clan mates with shoes! It's not nice!)** them awy. /"Let me have a niche to myself!"

They all walked away groabling. "She nevwr let's us have any fun" **(Never? She's been leader for about 5 minutes; 5 minutes is not even close to never! Also what do you mean by "fun"?)** said BeryNoise. "Thats not kawaii at all." **(KAWAII MEANS CUTE, HOW IS NOT LETTING YOU HAVE FUN NOT CUTE? Also what? Just what?)**

GleamStar didnlt care sge was waiting for FireStar. Then FireHert came into her den. "I'm levving" **(See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.)** he said and he lef. StarGleam followed him uyelling "WAIT!1!11 Where are you gong?" **(#Yogagong)**

"Well I cant be ledder so I'm just goint to leaf for a while. **(Woooooow talk about bitter, you GAVE her the leadership position)** Maybe Ill be a rogue, **(Rouge is the word for hostile loner you know!)** or maybe I'll go join skyCaln. Who knows?" Then he luf. StarGamet was sad b/c that was her mentor and one of the cats she luvved leaving but it was ka since thass what he wanted to due. **(This is so cheesy)**

"Its oka StarStar" **(Best name ever, Starstar, I thought she was named Gleamstar...?)** said HawkFrog **(HawkFROG? As in a Hawk/frog hybrid? Now THAT I would wanna see, a green hawk with a frog face and a craving for flies...)** appearating out of nonwhere. "I mean I love you so its all god." **(She said NO)**

"I no" said StarGlea prring she wrapped her tail around HawkFrosts face she dint care that he was a rogue, she loved him. **(What)** And now they could be togethier!/ **(Oh, now that the love of your life is gone you can have a new boyfriend who previously was a serial killer, how quaint)**

 **I have no idea with this story guys, there are so many funny mistakes, including the fact that Redpaw and Lakepool DIED! And now they've been magically resurrected, and are in love, which is weird because I'm pretty sure they are sisters, anyway, peace out!**


	19. Chater Eitheen The Deat 11 11 1

**Hey guys, I'm back after a long while, I've been busy with my other story (Please check it out)**

StarKit weak up shed been asleep. **(Well if she was awake, then obviously she had been asleep.)** Their was ayoll from the capm! She run otides her den she junped of the HighRidge. "I gott to kill ou: **(Most intimidating words ever)** somone sadi. It WA.S….. TIGEERSTAR! **(HE'S ALIVE? HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS DUDE FREAKING DIED!)**

"Ttlu." Said HollyLefa meanly from his ides. GLEAM STAR welled "GET OUT OF THE CRAMP EVERYONE" **(Cramp? Really?)** she coldu hander it heself. **(Yeah, yeah, everyone leave so she can get herself killed)**

"No" said BarkFall "we elov you somuch StarGleam **(Seriously?)** we could'nt leafe u" NAD THE CATS FOUT! **(Dun dun dun!)**

HolyKeaf turned into… a…. FUX! **(Oh no how tragic... *Is reading a book*)** GlameStar surpised. She jopped! **(Hop hop! Jop jop! Same thing right? Right.)** But it was too latte!1 The foz was an inc form her face when LinoBlaze apparetd! **(No Lionblaze she was about to die!)** She clawed him They're was bold. "noooooo" said GleamStart. She was greif. **(I can even think of a way to word everything wrong with that sentence.)** Teras falled **(FALLED? THAT'S IMPROPER GRAMMAR!)** down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks. **(Yes we get it, her cheeks are sparkling, she's so beautiful, and all the toms care about is her beauty obviously, because all the toms in this story are shallow and desperate)** Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani.. It was beutifly **(Told you)** thohth HawkForts. **(Hawkforts? Is that like a fort for hawks?)**

"its oyak StarGleam." said LionBealz. "I doe for you. it makes me gay whit hapyness." **(For real!)**

"LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2" **(You know, the cat species has never had a problem with Homosexuality, humans are the only species that ever has, which proves that we shouldn't oppose it)** said StG;eamStar. gasp. was here clan bevoming quare. Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded! **(Bye bye)**

"NOOP" **(Seriously, your friend just died and your like: Noop! That sounds like something I would say.)** said GleamStar, "HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE THOU." **(Woah! She just suddenly got all Shakesphere on us!)** She said. She lapped at HolltLeaf! HollyFale lagged and run "its to lare" she meowled "lock behind u"

StarGleam looked. TiggClaw was scratching DAWNSPAEKLE she run up the he cat clawd him he ran aya. "get pout of here Hacky-kin" **(You told him!)** she sad its too danheros" "iie" 9meanes no) said Hawkyfrost. **(Hawkyfrost? That's such a cute nickname!)** "I lobe you my daer I wan't live you." **(...)**

But the cats weer goin. Tiggerstar lagged sadly. "you mayt have defted ous this time," **(It really didn't take that much)** his said "but nest time well be STORNGER." **(I will hold you to that.)** Then he left. Then HolyLeag left. Then thuneer clan was saf!

"since LionBleaze deid **(How do you say these things so lightly you sicko?)** said Gleamstar I nedda new depudy. JazzPaw cum hear. JazzPaw came. "JazzPaw I want make you in warrior. So you can bw my depduey." **(bu... bcu... just... WUH! She has to be 12 moons! She has to have an apprentice! There are so many things wrong with this situation!)** JaszPaw smieled! She was so happ! "JazzPaw form now n youll be JazzSong. Also ur my depdy. Anyone have a problem with that?: she was mean **(So what else is new)** bcase she was sad~ no the cats said obdenintley. They new he was sad. They ripsected it,, linblaze was her after all. **(Lionblaze WAS HER? What!)** besider mots of the cats thouhth StarG;eam was kawai when she was mad **(This is by far the stupidest thing I have ever read in my life.)** her eyes robbled. **(Robbled? That sounds really painful.)** She and hawkFrost slept NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS? **(IDGAF about the commandments, what I care about is that Hawkfrost is like, many years older than her, not to mention the fact that he is DEAD.)**

Im sorr it tock so logn, but I think I did real god on hese chathers. **(Yeah! Mmm hmm! *Whistles*)** I was tiered the last one was log **(How can you get tired from sitting at a computer and typing on a keyboard? Did your fingers need some sleep after that?)**

 **I'm a weirdo-face! I also wanna mention that the next thing I update on this website will be The Danger, then I'm updating Darkstar's Life (Finally) Then I will update this again, so it might be awhile. Sorry!**


	20. 19 The Mirage 1!

**Ok I know this came out sooner than I said it would, but I ended up getting the chapter of my other stories out WAY faster than I expected, so surprise surprise!**

The nex mourni StarGleam wock **(Wock wock! Alarm clock!)** up and HawkForost was still sleppin next to her. She dint wnat to ake him so she letf he then and went to look for a bunch of ctas to go on parolt. **(Isn't that the deputy's job?)**

"JazzSong RedPaw LakePaw **(REDPAW AND LAKEPAW ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!)** FlamePelt your all goint on a parolel to the Windyclna broader." She said and then she went back to her den to wake HawkGorest up she had to tell him sumthn.

"HawkFrost lets get marred." **(Holy crap that was bold.)** She cok him up and locked at him expacently as he blined his amber eys. **(MARRY ME BABY!)**

"Oh sweat **(I'm pretty sure you're just supposed to sweat, not say 'oh sweat')** that's a freat idea! **(You are succumbing to eternal doom)** he said." Sould we talthe claN?"

"Yah thats whu I was wakcg you up." **(Go back to sleep it's not worth it.)** She left the den and HawkfOrst **(Would it actually kill you to spell him name right ONCE?)** was folowig. "Let All Vats **(Vats? Like from Fallout 4?)** Older To Cath There On Pray Gather Hear Benth The High:edge For A Clan Mettin!

They all gathered even though Milloe **(...)** was upset that BriadPaw **(BRIADPAW?)** had been hurt. **(She was crippled, and after she was crippled she was named Briarlight, so HA!)** (a/n i havent actually red Fading Eches yet **(oh...)** but Ive heard that she gets hurt!1!1!1111")

"HawkFrost and I are getting mriaged!" **(I object!)** yelld StarPaw happ;y. Everone startwf crapping! **(They were just so happy and surprised that they all started crapping right in the clearing.)** They were soooo happly for StarGstar they new she nedded a mat. **(A woman does not need a footmat! She can live without one!)**

"Do you knw what we shuld do?" called out BubPaw **(What kinda name is that?)** and StarGleam didn't want to listen to him because he was stpid **(Ruuuuude)** (a/n just look at his narem how culd he NOT be stupd!1?1 **(Ok this person is a bully, don't judge a book by it's name woman!)** ) but she was ledar so she decided to hurm him. "What is ist BubmFlit" **(Now with the mean nicknames? Bad leader! Bad leader!)** she esked lokoking at the he cat.

"We should go annunce it at the Gathern!" he said and everony chered. They all aruged with him. **(Wait, did they cheer? Or did they argue? I'm actually confused this time.)** So the Thhner caln cats left for the Gatherin. But when they got there... they saw... BullStar was dead! In his palsh was... FLAMESTAR! **(Dun dun DUN!)**

 **Bakka!**


	21. Chapter 19 The Nwe Love

**I actually have no excuse for why I haven't updated in so long, just accept that I'm uploading now!**

Stupid falmes! ur all satinsit1s! **(This insult is getting old)** StarKesus **(StarJESUS? What? XD I'm laughing so hard)** is ur saver y cant u just eccept that. **(Because some people are athiests! Also, there are plenty of Christian assholes, so you can't really say if you insult the story you don't believe in Jesus)** Also im not a torll!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty! **(Whaaaaaaaat? I can't imagine why)**  
Btw Jazz are you happy wih the last chpaetr? **(THE BEGINNING OF THIS NEXT SENTENCE ISN'T CAPITALIZED AHHHHHH!)** i no im promised u I wood mack you depduey  
gasped! 'What are ou doing her FireStar" **(Murdering you)** she  
said.

"I tock **(Tick-tock-tick-tock)** over ShaderClan" **(Shaderclan? Do they were shades?0** he said happly. "I went 2 there teratory n they fondu me there. The told me that BlakStar was deda **(Good, he was a damn petifile)** he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide." **(cats do that?)**

"OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN" **(You never even told him the commandments! How would he know that!)** SIAD StarGleam.

"i know rite." said FierStart "but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat." **(I would be sad if someone wouldn't be my meat too)**

GleamStar was said for a mome. But then she rembered her and Hawkfrost-kun **(Hawkfrost-kun? He is not Japanese!)** were geting marred! And she was happy again.

She run towreds the HighOka **(HighOKA? Someone has been playing Yandere Simulator)** a;; the cats wer catching her aw she past. They wanderd why she was even more readient then ussal today. It was  
bcause she is happy. HawkFirst throgut. **(You know, he actually made a pretty good villain in the books, too bad he's a frap boy now.)**

"Cast of all clasn!" se yewled. "I have an nounce!" **(I'm actaully gay so I'm going to hell! Bye ya'll! I know I kinda brought this on myself and tortured others who loved each other but hey! Starkit says right!)**

"what is it ledder" **(No one addresses their clan leader as "Leader")** they all said.

"HawkFrpst and me…are getting… MARTED!" **(Urge... to make... snarky... remark... so strong... right now...)**

The clcats cherred in saw **(Pretty sure there were no cats in Saw)** and happy! Some of them where said the enver got t2 be StarGleams mat **(WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE WANNA BE HER FOOT MAT!)** but they wer happy anyways becas they lovved her and knw what was bet.

"let the marrige begin" **(Wait, hold the phone, your getting married like, the DAY after your engagment?)**

But bfore the marige cold happin… there was a nose! **(A nose? Where? KILL IT WITH FIRE!)** "I WANT HER TO B MY MATE" **(She must dress like a slut for so many males to be obsessed with her)** sdi a vice from Abobe! **(Adobe? My Adobe crashed, how is this possible?)**

"Starclan?" sad GleamSyar?

"No." said the vice. "its…THE DAK FROSET!" **(WHAT THE F***! NOW THERE'S AN ACTUAL _FOREST_ IN LOVE WITH HER? WHAT?)**

And then therw ere clods!1111 It stared to rain! And..litening stroked! it hert StarFleam! **(If you love her so much why the hell would you strike her with lightning?)**

It hurt.

AND GLEAMSTAR CODLU FELL HETSELF DID!11!111!1! **(YAY!)**  
1!/

SHE wock **(Wock wock! Alarm clock!)** up. Se was in the dark frost she rmebered. It was blak around. "blackstar" she siad wanderin if hed' wanted 2 see was blackStar a bad cat she wandered she didn't know if he wod o to teh Fark Firest!

She shaw a shap in the dirtence. "BackStar?" shse seda. "its meh starGleam

Then the cat torned arund. It was… ASSFyR! **(I would not want someone named Assfur as my mate, sounds like an asshole)**

Ashfir locked aht her. "gigle" **(So, since cats can't giggle they just say the word giggle? Makes sense.)** he said "glemstar… ur beatiful….like SquireFlit…i wnted u…to be….my met?" **(You are mentally unstable. Your also dead. How can you hump a dead cat?)**

"NO9999999999999 **(OH MY GOD, HOLY CRAP! THAT"S A LOT OF NINES! THAT NUMBER GOES BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION! AHHHHHH!)** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Gleam **(Star)**

 **Mmmmmmm bye!**


	22. Chapter 20 STARCALN

**I update fast now huehuehue!**

"Oh no Broakcnstar!" **(Since when was Brokenstar in the picture?)** yelled StarGleam mad;y I can;t be talkin to brokenStar!" **(No you can't, since he was NEVER THERE!)** And sheran away leaving AshFurt **(Ashfurt? That sounds like Ash fart when you say it aloud, how painful would it be to fart ash?)** behin her. She run and ranned and runend and then se was at StarClan!" **(Mm beautiful.)**

"Yay Im not at the dark Fort anymro1! **(Since when was there a dark fort?)** she thought happly and then she wasked across the broard and then she was in Starclan!1

"Welcmon to Starcaln said YellowFangn she was stnding ther with LefPool, BrambleClan, **(There was never a Bramble clan. I'm sure of it.)** SpottedLeaf and BakSrae. **(I don't even know who's name THAT was supposed to be.)**

"Blakstar yoyre not in the Dark FGort !" **(Where you belong.)** Gleamstar yelled hellpy, she didnt want him to be their she lovd him after all. **(DIDN'T THEY SPEND LIKE TWO FULL CHAPTERS EXPRESSING THE FACT THAT SHE _DOES NOT LOVE HIM?)_**

"Of course not" BlackStar relipe. "wy would i be their **(Because you're a petifile.)** I mean I luv tou after tll2!" **(You are such a creep.)**

"well thats tru" reoidned Gleamstar. "but I can't be in StarCan! Oalready came here once I cant do it agan!" **(Stay here, so the living never have to suffer through knowing you again.)**

"well it looks like you haf. said BlueStar and she said "but we cant send you back to the calns again, **(Yeah!)** this time it locks like we'll have to REINCART YOU." **(Since you can't see me, I'll have you know that I'm rolling my eyes.)**

"Omh Reincartion!" yelled StarGam "you mean like what haopned to CinderPaw?" **(Hey! I liked Cinderpaw, don't bring her into this!)**

"Yah" said CinderPelt comin yp to her "thast what happened t me I was reicnanrt." **(You were a totally different person. So I say go for it!)** She Said.

"But it might be awhile" **(Yay!)** said SpottedPool "after all we have to figre out Ow were going do that firtsl} **(You did it once for Cinderpelt, you should already know how to do this.)** "go do somethinm elese" **(Like dying, dying's good!)**

"okay" siad GleamStar and she luf. She heard her namer being called and she turnd around and saw HawkForst standing over her body. **(This story REALLY wants me to hate Hawkfrost doesn't it?)**

"StarPaw noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" **(YAAAAAAAAY!)** je yowle. "Starcaln how ould you od this to me!" **(Uh, It wasn't her, it was the bolt of lighting that freaking murdered her face. She did nothing to you.)** "We were about to get marti. **(Cry me a river.)**

"Im sorry Hawk Frost" said StarGleam "I'll be back soon I think"! **("I think" She says.)**

"Wat whose there?" **(You should recognize her voice by now.)** HawkFrost looked around but hed idnt sieantyhing. **(Because she ded bruh!)**

"Its me GleamStar" said GleamStra looking at him.

"I cant see yo" he said and he buped into a tree. **(What... Why... How... Did he bump into a tree? Also, TREE!)** Then he fele down. **(Nice job.)**

"bye HawkForst!" said StarGleam and she left cius she didn' want to see what would haben when her belocd HawkyForest **(Hawkyforest? For real?)** wock **(Wock wock! Alarm clock!)** up so she luf.

"hi their StarGlema" said a voice and GlemaGleam looked around. "Whose there!1!11!" **(Jeez calm your shit, all they did was say hi!)** she eked and it was... Falled leaf!1!111111!1!11111 **(Um, wasn't he cursed to wander around that cave forever? He wasn't a warrior cat so he never went to Starclan god dangit!)**

 **Mbye! Next thing I update will be The Danger!**


	23. Chatpre 21 The Purtle

**Hello fellow humans I know I've been gone awhile, I've just been focusing more on my Fanfiction "The Danger" but it's been too long. So here ya go!**

Chatpre 21 The Purtle **(Was that supposed to say Turtle?)**  
Felled Leaf **(A leaf that felled is a leaf that has fellen)** what hare **(HARE)** you doing here" said StarGlean. "I'm here to dilevere a propheci." He he **(He he? Really?)** said."I allredy kow about the propheco." she siad. "out of the darknedd, stargl will come and get rid of the evil tigger and holy." **(TIGGER IS NOT EVIL TIGGER IS THE BEST!)** "Thast not one I mean." Said Falleb Leaf. "I mean….theyr are dayk throats in the forst." **(All I got out of that was 'The dark side of the force')**

"w?" **(When you truly have no words, you just saw 'w')** said GlStarGleam "U see ther are still cast **(Cast? This whole thing was a play? Well, you need a better scripter ASAP)** who dont belive in Starclan." **(Aaaaand we're reverting to the olden days where atheists were burned at the stake. What kind of message is this person trying to send!?)** "WHAT SIAD GLEMASTARR AFTER EVERTTHING IVE DON FOR THEM HOW OCULD TEHY" **(Um, what have you actually done for them? Also, how would this be directed at you? It's about them. Not everything is about you _StarGleam_ If that is your real name. Which I'm not sure it is at this point.)** "The Dork Forest **(HA HA HA! The Dork Forest? That's where StarGleam belongs, instead of Starclan or the Dark Forest she goes to The Dork Forest!)** is tacking over theri minnds. **(Cat mind control.)** Said Falled Leave. There using ClodTail and MotWig tu help them. So you must…. Start….. a war… ON THE DAERK FRSOT!11!1!##! **(Isn't this supposed to be a wise cat? Why in the world would you wage war upon ghosts? That sounds unwise.)** Weave all ben watting for you GleamStar." And then he luft.

Starlgeam dint have any tim to thick=====think **(Did she just... attempt to correct her spelling error? HALLELUJAH IT'S A MIRACLE!)** becuse some1 called her nam!

"STarGleam" called SpotedLeaf. "Its time for you to b riencarted." **(Reincarted? So, brought back as a shopping cart? *Gasp* A shopping cart ghost!)** "YAY" said Gleamstar. Thery was a portle. **(Cuz cats know what portals are.)** She locked at the portel. It was suierling 7 brihte. **(Wut)** "Go in thru there" siad BallStar. **(BALLSTAR? *We're sorry, Craftysupergirl M Darkstorm has died of lung failure due to severe laughing at the term 'Ballstar')** He loked said that Stargleam codnt be with him but she new hed be ok. She nugled him he felled better. **(Stargleam just snuggled with a male cat named Ballstar. Also, Stargleam is a cat whore.)**

then she wandred what woldu happen. "We ont know for sure." omitted BeluStar. "But it worked b4 itl wokr agaen.'

StarGkeam was abuut to step into the purtel ehwn…. SHFUR!11! **(Who?)**

"NO" HE SAID" I WNAT HER FOR HIMSELF" **(This is what happens when you seduce every male cat you meet!)** "quick StarGleam getting" said hestering towered the portle

Justs as she was about to jup in….. HawkAShfur **(Was it hawkfrost or Ashfur? Shit. Now I'm confused.)** pussed aginst her! She was nocked forwered into the suirling purtle!111

She lookced back to se….ASHFUR Had cum BACK ThRU TO1!11!1 **(No one considers the fact that Ashfur has obsessive mental illness during all this.)**

 **Ashfur is a rapist. Nuff' said. Run Stargleam. Run.**


	24. NextChapter

**Man it's been awhile since I've done one of these! I miss it.**

NextChapter oka im back! i saw the good reviews some ppl gave me **(People gave this story good reviews?)** and i wnated to come back. Also my friend JazzPaw is helping wit the chapters she healped me with the first tow but after that she didnt' have internte but hse got it back now. :DDDDDDDDD

Then StarKit wock **(Wock wock alarm clock!)** up and she was in the forest.

"Mew" she said becuse the sould'nt talk becuse the was a kit. **(Just to clear that up)**

"Hello kitty" **(Who calls their child "Kitty"? Humans don't call their offsprings "Childy")** said her mother and StarKit lookd up.

Her mother... was HolyLeaf!" **(Dun dun DUN!)**

"t!" **(T! TTTTTTTT!)** said SatrKit. She lokce around to see whar she was.

"Were in the Donderclan **(That's a new one)** camp" said HolyLeaf "oh look here comes yourfather now!"

Into the nursey **(Nursey nurse!)** came... TigerSar!

StarKit new ther was soemthing she should no about TiggerStar but she didnt know wat. **(Because Starkit is a Mary Sue and has special powers that tell her everything because that makes sense.)**

"Thass your daddy TiggerStar!" **(With the grammar used in this sentence Hollyleaf is referring to another cat who is Tigerstar's father.)** said HolyLef.

"I no that nam" though StarGit **(Stargit seems pretty accurate.)** but she could thing about it becuse HolyLeaf said "Their are other kits out there go aly with them I have to takl to TigerSar in peace/

StarKit wnet out into the clering and the cats wer stnding over the body of StarStar. **(Starstar. All the stars!)** StarKit locked arund to see who els was in the clring. Then she saw RedPaw and lakePool sitting by the side sad'y with ther tals line.d. **(I SWEAR TO STARCLAN THOSE TWO DIED A LONG TIME AGO.)**

"I thught StarStar tild you to stop bein plebian?" **(Starstar is ded. Starstar can't tell you anything.)** saud StarKit speking her firt sors.

"How would yoyu no" said LakePawl gettin defend. "Yur just a kit!" **(Rude!)**

"Your rigt" said StarKit "how do U no?"

"Your HolylEaf's kid right?" ekd RedPaw. "I think Book and StormFur **(Stormfur fucked a book? I'm curious to see what that offspring looks like.)** also had a kit, I think his name is AshKit."

"Yuou should go see him" said JayFethr. StarKit new ther was sumthing familr about him to but she could't remembr what!1!1!1

"Yse I will thanz" relld. StarKit and she went bok to the nursry. She saw AshJit but she dint get to takl to him becuse then ther ewas a yell from abobe the camp. "HAHA LAQWL" **(Yes because forest totally know the term "Lawl!)** yelld a locked up. On on sid she saw YellowFagn BrambleCawl, LeafPolo, Wiit Storm and BlueStra and on the other were HolyLeaf and TigerStar! **(Don't know why they're laughing, they are seemingly hopelessly outnumbered.)**

"Its a war betwen Starcaln and the Dark Forest!" said LinoBlaze and then... StarKit realeid... her mom and dad... wee EVUL! **(Oh wow! We didn't know!)**

 **Let me know if you guys want me to continue this.**


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